i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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