Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
