ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
