Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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