Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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