There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
