I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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