Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
