ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
