He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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