I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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