We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
