i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
