Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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