I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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