i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize