I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
