You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
