Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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