he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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