the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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