Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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