is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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