Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
