Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
