he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This is my gift to your gina
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
