____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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