Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just pee around me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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