Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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