now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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