So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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