Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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