I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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