at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
