so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
