that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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