im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
