I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
