I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
