they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
