Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
