you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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