I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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