Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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