My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
