final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
