I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
