I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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