Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
