Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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