So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
