I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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