she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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