About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just found a bag of teeth...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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