Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
