yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
