I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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