I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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