I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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